By Joey McDermott - The Teacher AKA Chicago Joe
Milwaukee Avenue in Logan Square has always had great pizza! Growing up I loved Father and Sons, but after 72 years they cashed out, calling it quits in 2019. Father and Son was a beloved neighborhood institution. I don't blame them though, they walked away into the sunset as millionaires! Who wouldn't do that?
Father and Son was a place where cops from the Shakespeare district had their own booth, often occupied by the legendary Officer Steve Wilkos from the Jerry Springer Show. On Friday nights a family of 12 would show up at 8:45 pm and they never blinked twice to seat them. They quickly lined up 6 tables so Grandma, Daddy and babies could sit in the dining room until the kitchen closed and the staff left for the night.
What filled that void? Today that same block has Paulie Gee’s. To show that I’m not some Boomer stuck in time, I ventured to Paulie Gee’s to check it out. They got NY style slices, the wood burning oven for Neapolitan style and Detroit square pan style. Everyone loves Pauli Gee's, right?
Ok, maybe I lied. Despite being born in 1973 I had several boomer moments at the new spot. Here’s my takeaways:
Don’t ask for a paper menu, that ticks off the hipster wait staff. They don't care about boomers who can’t read off the small print of a QR code. Me personally, I like to feel the menu in my hand. I can see everything at once. With the phone I have to enlarge certain parts and move it around, because I wear reading glasses and I don't feel like carrying them when I go out to dinner. Plus, in my family we put our phones away at dinner. There’s nothing more annoying than seeing teenagers glued to their phones and ignoring their parents. Parents are afraid to say, "I thought we could talk a little, how was your day kids?" And kids will roll their eyes, annoyed they have to engage with a human who's buying them a meal out on the town.
Don’t ask for a straw. I ordered a bottle of Coke and it arrived without a a straw. I discretely requested the straw, as if it was contraband. The server acted like I was directly responsible for the murder of several turtles. The visibly irritated server returned with a naked straw, holding it with his bare hands. I don't know about you, but that ‘ish is unsanitary. I asked for a straw wrapped in paper and this time he had it, “No sir, we don’t have that,” he retorted with contempt.
Don’t expect to see any pictures off the QR code. Call me low class or a foodie novice, but I like a menu with some pics. I need to imagine what it looks like at the end. How do I know the Margherita has fresh mozz? How do I know it's a sunny side up egg on the breakfast pizza?
Don’t ask for any substitutions on the pizza. My son and I found the perfect pizza. It was the Detroit Style, aka “Logan Squares” style of pizza. We asked for the “My Kinda Town'' which has “Cheddar, Mozz, Halal Beef Italian Seasoned Sausage, Bell Peppers, Onions, Parmesan, Red Pepper Flakes, Oregano.” Only one issue is that my son does not eat pork, so we asked for it without the sausage.
“I’m sorry sir, we don’t make substitutions, you must order off the menu as is.”
I thought to myself, is this guy the pizza nazi - no pizza for you! “Hold up, but you make each pizza fresh to order, right?”
“Yes sir, as soon as I punch in your order the kitchen staff will start making your pizza.”
“And when they start making my pizza, they can’t do everything the same - except skip the sausage?”
“Sorry sir, that’s correct. Our combinations are the perfect balance of complimentary flavors. We don’t make any changes to the menu.”
“Well, we’re gonna need a few more minutes,” and he huffed away.
I looked at my son, “Now that’s some bull shit! How the fuck you don't allow me to get what I want on my pizza?”
“Daddy, it’s ok. There’s another pizza that we can get, see - right here,” and my 15 year old son handed me his phone.
“You know I can’t see that shit. But if you say so.”
Don’t expect any refills on the coke. What kinda' pizza place has no refills? Father and Son always had free refills.
Don't expect any free bread and butter. Father and Son always had free bread. And I let myself fill up on it! - Sorry Mom.
Don’t expect to choose your tip based on the quality of service. When the bill came there was a 20% gratuity applied to the entire bill -including tax! I asked my favorite salty dog, aka my server, for an explanation.
“I think there was a mistake. You have gratuity and there was only two of us.”
“It says on the menu, automatic gratuity for all parties.”
“OK, but you never gave me a menu. All you gave me was the QR code.”
“Sir,” and this is where his voice got extra nasally and drawn out, “The QR code is the menuuu.”
“I see, so if I looked at the QR code I would have seen this?”
He said nothing, just nodded impatiently.
“Look, it’s not tipping that I have an issue with. I always tip 20%, but I like to do it with cash. That way it goes straight into your pocket without Uncle Sam taking his cut - if you know what I mean,” and I guffawed to myself.
He dryly dismissed my humor, “We all share our tips here, so cash doesn't do me any favors.”
“OK…well how about this? You applied the 20% to the total bill and included tax. Nobody does that.”
“If you’d like, I could get the manager.”
Feeling like a Ken/Karen, “I think I would like that.”
I called his bluff! We sat there for five minutes and he returned. “The Manager is busy right now, but I removed the gratuity.”
Just so you all know, I ended up giving him the same amount of tip - in cash. It wasn’t about the money, it was about the principle.
This whole new dining experience left me jaded. I can’t have a freakin' straw, I can’t create my own pizza, I can’t tip as I please, I can't fill up on free bread, I can't have a paper menu - it was all too much! I can't lie though, the pizza was great! But that doesn’t make up for the stank ass attitude.
Like I said, Father and Son accommodated your party of 12 and those families had the time of their lives! And I’m quite sure they ordered multiple refills on pop, and several rounds of the free bread with garlic butter spread! The elderly and children were welcomed patiently by their servers.
Five minutes into my drive home, my Gen Z son sent me a text message. "Why you giving the staff at Paulie Gee's a hard time?" He lives in Logan Square and works at another trendy restaurant. When you work in the business you have friends, and when I say the business I mean the industry. One of their staff recognized me, Chicago can be such a small village.
I looked at the text astonished, but within a few seconds another text came in. "JK, my friend works in the kitchen and he said nobody likes that server."
Validation! The world hasn't passed me by entirely. Keep trying Logan Square - my heart is still open to (some) change.
Secondarily, apologies that you couldn’t get uh…free shit at a restaurant. Maybe Olive Garden next time.
They haven’t had QR codes at Paulies for a little over a year. They print new paper menus every quarter, and set them out each time a table is sat. They can omit toppings from pizzas, they just won’t add or substitute toppings.
If you wrote this article when they did have QR codes, then waiting this long to post it is shabby journalism and lacks any timeliness. This article is inaccurate, and since I don’t work there anymore I can kindly say the problem is more likely you than the service, or food. Respectfully.
Source: I worked there for 3 years.
Great article, but PLEASE tell me you know the difference between "whose" & "who's", teacher.